He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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