Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Couch. On fire.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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