There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
