I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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