I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
