we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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