I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sorry about my life...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
