I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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