Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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