I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
