I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
