Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
