My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
