girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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