You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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