i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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