break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
