he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
