hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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