i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
