it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't deserve a penis
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
