I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
