i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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