she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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