My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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