He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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