i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
