Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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