I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
