Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
