I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
