hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sarcasm needs its own font
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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