so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
