Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
