Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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