No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
