why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
