How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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