And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
