if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
