so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
