there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize