ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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