Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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