Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
