is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
