you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
