Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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