Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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