Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
