It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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