She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
