i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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