we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
