It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
