I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
