there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
