Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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