Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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