If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
