Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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